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Karen Gross

A Case for Getting Proximate

By: Karen Gross, Founder & CEO of Citizen Discourse

“We cannot create justice without getting close to places where injustices prevail….We have to get proximate.” – Bryan Stevenson

Esteemed innocence attorney and justice warrior, Bryan Stevenson, is known for making the case for what he calls, “getting proximate.”  Around the time I first watched him speak, I had the privilege of bearing witness to a transformative restorative circle facilitated for victims of hate, an initiative of the Austin Hate Crimes Taskforce.  This was my first restorative circle and I was amazed by what I witnessed.  In a short period of time, a diverse collection of people connected on a deep level due to the thoughtfulness that went into the curation of the conversation.  And the proximity.

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Our brains are amazing.  We are literally wired for human connection.  And all it takes is the slightest interaction: a moment of eye contact, the touch of a hand, the sound of a voice.  Humanizing interactions causes the brain’s limbic system to release dopamine and oxytocin.  These neurotransmitters accelerate bonding and trust. 

Research conducted by David DeSteno, a social psychologist at Northeastern University, shows that brief social interactions increase feelings of empathy and compassion.  And a study published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience in 2017 titled, “The Effect of a Single Session of Intense Emotion on Implicit Empathy in Healthy Participants,” found that simply looking into someone’s eyes for a few seconds increases activity in the prefrontal cortex – the area of the brain associated with empathy. 

In light of this, it seems that getting proximate is an expedient and powerful opportunity for our students to develop their social and emotional skills and even expand their cultural competence.  When students have regular and meaningful interactions with their peers or clients (in clinics or pro bono work) from cultures, geographies, and backgrounds different from their own, they have the chance to develop a deeper understanding, appreciation, and respect for different perspectives. Law school offers an ideal opportunity for students to expand their perspectives by getting proximate with others.  

In my next post, I will discuss the importance of creating psychological safety so these exchanges indeed foster trust and understanding.  

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Invite to Write

Reflect on a time you recently “got proximate.”  Describe the circumstances, the setting, and the interaction.  How did your perception shift?  What contributed to your shift in perception? 

Let’s connect!  Email me at Karen@citizendiscourse.org.

Karen Gross is the Founder & CEO of Citizen Discourse.

Karen Gross

AN INTRODUCTION TO CITIZEN DISCOURSE

By: Karen Gross, Founder & CEO of Citizen Discourse

The group of 2L and 3L students huddled around a long conference table, leaning in so as not to miss a word. These students are enrolled in the Access to Justice Project Management class I co-instruct with Victor Quintanilla at Indiana University Maurer School of Law. The person they are eager to hear from is Calvin, who is a clemency client of mine. He’s been incarcerated at the Greensville Correctional Facility in Jarratt, Virginia since he was 18 years old. Calvin is 38. Right now, Calvin is looking at another forty years of his life locked away.

“Based on your personal experience with the justice system, what advice do you have for law students hoping to contribute to a more just legal system?”

In his slow and deliberate cadence, Calvin responded, “Every person has a story. Take the time to listen.”

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Unlike breathing, which we do unconsciously, to really listen with the objective to understand the other person requires intention. Otherwise, it’s just hearing. In class, we center the practice of active listening: from mirroring and reflective listening to empathic listening and humble inquiry. We think about scenarios where, as lawyers, these different listening approaches are effective tactics.

Let me back up and introduce myself since I’m new to this space. My name is Karen Gross. I am a practicing attorney, a consultant, a facilitator and instructor, and a social justice advocate. Out of a concern for the state of our democracy and a growing interest in restorative practices, I started an organization whose mission is its name: Citizen Discourse. Citizen Discourse gatherings make space for participants to develop more effective communication, self-awareness, and other valuable human skills. The crux of the Citizen Discourse approach involves a human-centered scaffolding for conversations, coupled with a social contract that defines relationships, sets norms, and builds buy-in. Together, these elements help foster psychological safety which lay the foundation for authentic interactions seeded in trust.

I work with law schools supporting and encouraging law students to think about their professional identities, their values, and the emotional intelligence skills it takes to align actions with values. With the newly revised ABA Standard 303, I hope to share this approach and resources with schools looking for a more holistic strategy for embedding professional identity formation.

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Last week I reached out to the student who asked Calvin for his advice to see what she thought of his answer. She responded with:

“I came to law school with aspirations of ‘changing the world,’ and expected law school to teach me how to do that — and I know many colleagues who share that sentiment. Calvin’s advice reminded me that some of the most valuable elements of my practice will be traits that I do not learn in the traditional doctrinal law classrooms. Even if I have all the doctrinal knowledge and ability to ‘think like a lawyer,’ my clients will be looking to talk to a human – not a robot – who can see, appreciate, and value their humanity.

I believe this sentiment captures the essence of what the work of professional identity formation and Citizen Discourse are all about: helping our students both think like a lawyer and act like a human.

Over the next few posts, I will share the theories and thought leaders that inform the Citizen Discourse approach to culture change. I hope this invites an exchange of ideas and a conversation. To that end, Citizen Discourse offers monthly restorative conversations on the first Tuesday of every month for higher education professionals working in this space. Over the course of a one-hour session, we get mindful, discuss trends and challenges, and build rapport. Come join us if you are curious to experience a Citizen Discourse style conversation.

Please email me at Karen@citizendiscourse.org if you have questions or comments, or if you’d like to join an upcoming conversation.

Karen Gross is the Founder & CEO of Citizen Discourse.