The Story of Elizabeth Harris and Her Heroic Rescue
I can now say that I have been saved by UST Public Safety.
Let me set up the scene for you. It was a dark, blustery, frigid night (ehem Saturday). The clock had just struck 12:37 as I was riding back to campus in my friend’s ice-cube of a car. No sign of life was apparent in the deserted tundra of Portland Avenue, we were alone.
Over the sounds of American classic “Look at Me Now,” terrible choking noises were heard from the hood of the car as the vehicle slowly halted to a stop in the middle of a deserted road a block from campus. We were so close to being back to our UST homeland, the golden, hazy lights were visible in the distance. After multiple attempts to revive the poor car, two girls in the front seats got out to apply as much force they could muster to push the car to campus. I courageously took the wheel and steered the beast of a car while we slowly inched forward.
Upon the realization that it would take days to get back to campus, and seeing as we had no provisions and would surely suffer from hypothermia on this bitter night, I had an epiphany. A certain number had been sitting dormant in my phone contact list since Freshman orientation, un-dialed and yearning to be of use. As I scrolled through my phone, I came upon the contact “UST Public Safety.” The three survivors huddled in the car as our trembling fingers dialed the number.
After a few rings, the voice of an angel answered and we relayed our cries for help. Mere minutes later, not knowing when they’d arrive or if they would make it to us alive, two bright headlights appeared and our saviors floated out of the notorious Public Safety truck. And then they retrieved the most glorious object in human existence from the trunk. . . a jumper cable. Our heros, whom I now refer to as Superman and Hercules, miraculously jumped our dead car.
After showing our eternal gratitude, we finally trekked back to UST. Upon entering the warm, beautiful land known as my dorm room, I kissed the ground and thanked the heavens above for our safe arrival from a tumultuous journey through St. Paul. And that, my future Tommies, is the tale of my heroic rescue by UST Pub Safe.